Hearing no.

I'm pretty sure one of the most depressing parts about parenting a child with significant disabilities is hearing the word "no" with unbelievable frequency. No, he cannot do that. No, he is not welcome here. No, your insurance doesn't cover that. There are NO available slots. That service is NOT available. I know this is a program for children with disabilities but yours has too much need. We do not have funds. Or there is the yes that is really a no: Yes, your child can be in this program and that will cost you $$$$$ which you cannot and never will be able to afford. Before B. I don't think I ever heard the word no. Pretty much I set goals, worked hard, then I achieved my goal. Autism doesn't roll like that.

I've heard the word no too much lately. Which brings complete frustration. I wish I didn't let people have so much power over my feelings like that. It's one thing to be frustrated with my child's pace and difficulties, where I can blame the disability. But when I advocate for him and fail to get him what he needs, that's all on me, that's MY failure.