Monday, February 8, 2010

Autism: God, seriously WTF?

I swear to you that if one more person tells me that God gave me an autistic child for a reason, I will go batshit crazy. That makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm not going to get philosophical about it, but suffice to say (I believe) not everything has to have a reason or higher purpose. I consider my religiosity to be in the moderate to severe range. ;) I live a prayerful life, I try to act in a Christian manner, I was born and raised and still am a practicing Catholic. So how does it all fit? I really don't know. Whole books have been written on the topic of God and Autism. Not that I've read them, and I probably won't get around to it. (By the way, does it scare anyone else that there is a whole bookcase devoted to Autism books in Borders?)

I have asked the question "why?" many times but usually it's because I really want the answer so I can help Ben get better. Very rarely have I entertained the "why me? why ben? why us?" questions. I don't feel that I need an answer to that. But I still am reserving my right to pity parties.

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